Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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