I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize