i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
