dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
