i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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