guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize