Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
