i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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