am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
