They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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