so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
