what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
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