I think i peed on brittanys purse
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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