If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
40s are totally the cure
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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