Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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