just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
