it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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