Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
