Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
