im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
