Cold hands, warm shart.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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