peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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