Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
