Don't you send me to vm
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
