Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Randomize