She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
