i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
