Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
