one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
