my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
