Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
