I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
