just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I would ride that face into the sunset
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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