I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
