That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
