I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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