You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
