I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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