your thong is hanging out like whoa
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
