I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
