why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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