I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
