Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Vodka?
Forever.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
