My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
