I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
