Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
