My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
not ubering you a puppy
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
