Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You were trust falling into bushes
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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