I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
