so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
