Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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