Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
