it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
