its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Hippo gnu deer
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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