Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Life is so much better after having sex.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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