If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
