Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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