just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Randomize
